Suffering reward association is the belief that people expect suffering to lead to future fortuitous rewards. Suffering reward association has various degrees.
For instance, every year, students from the University of St. Andrews plunge into the frigid North Sea, supposedly because doing so will help them obtain better grades in the upcoming exams.
Also following this same thought pattern, that suffering now leads to rewards later, some Catholics in the Philippines and Taoists in Thailand self-inflict physical suffering hoping that doing so will bring positive outcomes such as good health and posterity.
Note: The Research comes from the study Why and When Suffering Increases the Perceived Likelihood of Fortuitous Rewards by How Hwee Ong, Rob Nelissen, and Ilja van Beest.
How Suffering Reward Association Manifests
Suffering reward association manifests as a result of the interplay between two psychological mechanisms.
The first, the tendency to expect suffering to be compensated in unwarranted ways. Especially when the suffering is deemed to be undeserved.
The second involves the attribution to suffering to bad luck, which emerges when there is no obvious cause to the suffering.
During their research, the scientists conducted thousands of interviews throughout three fictional stories. In them, the protagonist had varying degrees of suffering. Some self-inflicted, others by circumstance, and others by bad luck.
In the stories where the hero had desirable cultural values, such as being hardworking, and the suffering was from bad luck (an awful storm, challenging life circumstances). The protagonist was deemed more deserving of some future reward that was driven by chance (such as getting a green card to move to a more developed nation).
However, in stories where the individuals self-destructed and seemingly caused their own suffering, or even where victims of certain circumstances – the participants taking the survey noted the protagonist does not deserve the future reward.
It took the circumstance of when people were unjustly hit by “bad luck” that they “deserved” some future reward.
Why Suffering Reward Association Matters
Knowing about suffering reward association is critical for two main reasons.
1. For individuals, don’t misconstrue your suffering.
People often rely on forecasts of future outcomes to make present-day decisions. When we believe we are currently suffering, and that we believe we deserve an award in the future, we might make sub-optimal decisions. For instance, since we believe we “deserve” some reward in the future, we might take on risky investments, or dangerous stunts to get us to that future state. When in reality, the outcomes of those events have nothing to do with our perceived suffering.
2. For society, don’t misconstrue others suffering.
If people expect suffering victims to be compensated in the future, the “everything will be okay” mentality might lead to a reduced tendency to personally help those who are currently suffering. Since the misconception is they will be fine in the future.
By knowing more about suffering reward association, it allows you to overcome this logical fallacy and better make decisions for yourself and others when suffering is present.
Suffering has some Silver Linings
Do not get me wrong, I wish everyone to have the best life possible and I wish no suffering on anyone. However, we all will have some type of suffering – probably multiple times in our lives. Going through a challenging situation can feel like moving through malaises while your world is crumbling around you. However, on the other side of suffering people tend to exhibit exponential growth.
When Joplin, Missouri was hit by a tornado, phycologists went to offer aid to the victims. Their findings were not what they expected. Those who experienced greater exposure to the tornado and suffered worse post-trauma stress exhibited stronger post-traumatic growth 2.5 years after the event. The people mildly exposed didn’t grow much personally, however, those who lost their homes become more resilient and sometimes, even happier people.
The findings of this study are consistent with other research. One study found that suffering enhanced self-efficacy, and competence. While another study found that it increased people’s meaning in life.
Want to increase your confidence and self-efficacy? Check-out this guide on how to feel more competent to tackle your biggest dreams!
Don’t Go Finding Suffering
The suffering described above was in scenarios where “bad luck” was present. A relative got sick, there was a natural disaster, a pandemic, or surprise loss of a job.
To some extent, these events are out of people’s control. However, those struck with the situation tried their best and made peace with the resolution were able to move on and become stronger people.
That does not mean we should go and cause our own artificial suffering. That is what the suffering reward association fallacy wants us to do. In some studies, people exhibit chronic suffering so they can someday achieve some future reward.
They self-sabotage by working hard for something, and at the last minute – they don’t do the final task. For instance, they could want to make their own small business. They do all the steps, create their products, and even design a logo. However, ruled by fear and the desire for some future reward – they stop. Or they make risky financial decisions to elicit sympathy from others.
Do your best to be better each day and proactively work towards your goals!
Who Self-Destructs?
For the most part, everyone does to some extent. Healthline found some people binge eat, self-injury, and abuse alcohol. Others participate in negative self-talk, willow in self-pity, and change themselves to suit those around them.
To some extent, we all can inflict unnecessary suffering on ourselves from time to time.
Why does knowing about the Suffering Reward Association matter?
As noted above, knowing about this logical fallacy helps you better combat potential self-destructive behaviors and help those suffering around you more.
Once we can recognize the fallacy in the “everything will be okay” mentality, we will be better able to proactively assess the situation, see where we can help or stop certain behaviors, and work on making the future we want.
How to overcome Suffering Reward Association
1. Practice Self-Care
When you are suffering, it can almost feel like you do not deserve to take care of yourself. However, when you fail to take care of yourself, you only exacerbate yourself, lose energy, and can burn yourself out. When we are suffering is when we tend to pull away from self-care. Instead, lean into self-care. Take time to do what helps you feel better and show up for yourself every day like you show up for other people.
Practicing self-care is hard. Check-out this guide on how to practice more self-compassion every day.
2. Listen to Others
To help others, we need to try to actively listen to what they are saying. Especially in difficult situations, this can be hard. To begin listening effectively, try focusing on the other person. Instead of asking your questions or waiting for your turn to speak, empathize with them and clarify your understanding.
3. Put your Situation in Context
Step-back, what is the root cause of what is troubling you? Is it the situation, the emotion, both, or something else? Not to fully detach your emotions from the situation, but to take a step back and see what is happening. Are there any proactive steps you can take to improve the situation? Even if it is venting your frustration to a friend or licensed therapist. See the little ways that you can see what is happening and how you can make it 1% better. If you can’t, that is okay too. Simply placing your suffering in context better enables you to express your experience and feel heard.
4. Practice Mindfulness
Go about your day with waking attention. If you feel safe doing so, sit with the uncomfortable feelings. If you aren’t sure if it is safe to do so, talk with a licensed therapist.
Sitting with negative feelings makes us uncomfortable. However, it better enables you to better understand your situation, your experience, and what is happening as a whole.
5. Reduce Anxiety
Reducing anxiety as a whole is a topic in itself. However, suffering and anxiety tend to go hand in hand. Anxiety is the body’s response to stress – usually about some future outcome(s). By reducing the anxiety you feel in the moment, you can better reduce the suffering you are also feeling.
Need help reducing anxiety? Check out our guide on 12 ways to reduce your anxiety.
Key Take-aways
- Suffering Reward Association is the belief that current suffering will lead to a future reward.
- Because of suffering reward association, people tend to make sub-optimal decisions in their personal lives and are unempathetic to others thinking that ‘everything will be okay’.
- To beat suffering reward association – take care of yourself with self-care and understanding your suffering and take the time to listen and empathize with those who are suffering.
Action item
What is the biggest cause of your suffering or anxiety right now? Can you proactively make it better? If you feel safe to do so, take 10 minutes to place your situation in context and come up with some proactive solutions to make it better. Then immediately do one of the steps.
Are things going well right now? Great! Is there someone you know that is having a tough time that you can reach out to to see if they want to talk?
