When you are feeling overwhelmed, the RAIN meditation technique can work for you. This technique focuses on mindfulness and self-compassion. It was developed by psychologist and meditation expert, Tara Brach.
RAIN is a mindfulness practice that allows us to Recognize, Allow, Investigate and Nurture our emotions. Once we consciously engage with those emotions, Tara argues, we can decide what is important to us and our happiness.
Why RAIN was Developed
1. Our Minds Wander A Lot (h3)
Tara noticed that we all spend 50% of our life mind wondering. A Harvard Business Review went further and found that we spend most of that time dwelling on the negative aspects of our lives.
Humans are hard-wired to see the negative. In the ancient world, our ancestors had to be cautious that a Tiger was in every bush because if not, they could be eaten and wouldn’t have survived. That anxious mind continues with us today – but now all that is hunting us is never-ending email and trying to find a work-life balance.
2. We Can’t Deal with Raw Emotions
In modern society, value is placed on those who are busy and get things done. That is great in terms of productivity. However, it has led to most people not being able to figure out their own emotions. We would rather stay busy than feel what we are feeling.
People suppress all emotions to some extent. Studies of college students entering college found they suppress almost all their emotions to adapt to the new lifestyle, workload, and expectations. As a result, these college students feel less anger and frustration – but they also experience less gratitude and joy.
Not dealing with emotions limits our ability to embrace and experience all the aspects of life.
3. People Have Regrets
In a podcast with Laurie Santos, a Happiness Expert, Tara shared that one of her close friends works in a nursing home. The number one regret the people in the nursing home have is not living more authentically themselves and experiencing life.
They share that they conformed to expectations or spent all their time in their work – ignoring the hard part of being authentic to themselves and experiencing life. They know they missed the bad but also the good by numbing or limiting themselves.
How RAIN Works
RAIN: starts with pausing and
1. Recognize
R is to Recognize what emotion is most prevalent and name it to yourself. The act of simply naming the emotion helps make it more concrete and less scary.
2. Allow
A is to allow the experience to be as it is. There is nothing to change or fix. Just allow your feelings to surface and the situation to run its course.
3. Investigate
I is to Investigate in the body where you are feeling the emotional squeeze. Are you holding your breath? Tightening the shoulders, or some other action. Work to loosen that feeling in your body and slightly stretch and loosen the body part.
4. Nurture
N is to Nurture by giving a tender touch and kindness to yourself with the emotion. Forgive yourself for feeling negative feelings, and offer yourself compassion for the difficulty you are facing. Remind yourself everything will be okay and that you will make it out of the situation fine.
After the RAIN
After you do those 4 steps – notice how you can feel the shift towards open heartiness and be with yourself. Be mindful of the experience and let yourself be there with it and then be open to new possibilities that RAIN offers.
The Benefits of RAIN
1. You U-turn Back to You
Since our mind wanders half the time, practicing RAIN lets you turn your attention back to yourself and your awareness. It lets you respond and work towards acting in a way that is more in line with your values and what is authentically you.
You begin to choose how you respond instead of simply reacting.
2. Builds a Strong Mindset
By turning your focus back, you empower yourself to have more choices (even if it is just how you respond to the situation), be more peaceful, and align yourself back to what matters to you. Being in this elevated state makes you better able to tackle the challenge that was giving you difficulty in the first place.
3. Builds Compassion for Others
When you practice RAIN – you practice compassion for yourself which enables you to be calmer and practice compassion with everyone else too. Everyone we meet is struggling in their own way – by practicing mindfulness through RAIN – we can remember to practice empathy and focus on seeing the good in others.
Want to Try Other Meditations?
Meditation has many shapes and forms. Your personal favorite might not work for someone else and vice-versa. Check-out some of our popular guides on different meditations to try!
- How to Start a Meditation Practice – Try These 7
- How to Meditate in Bed
- 3 Muscle Relaxation Techniques to Calm Anxiety
Key Take-Aways
- Life can be stressful and overwhelming. The tendency is to let our minds wander or stifle our emotions. The problem is that leads us to not experience life to its fullest.
- By using the RAIN meditation technique, we allow ourselves to be mindful of the present and also offer ourselves self-compassion for the challenges we are facing.
- By practicing mindfulness and self-compassion – we are better able to help those around us and to understand their situation as well.
Action item
Try RAIN at least three times this week. When you start to feel yourself become overwhelmed, take 5 minutes to go through the RAIN process. See how you feel after the RAIN and continue the practice if you find it is beneficial to you!
