How to Make Hard Decisions

Learning how to make hard decisions is paramount to live the life you want. Life is full of decisions. In a Ted Talk – Sheena Iyengar cites that the average American reports making 70 decisions a day. This means 70 salient decisions – not ones like do I wash my hands or shower – those are on autopilot. 70 decisions a day that is important enough to remember and report to a research scientist.

Making those decisions subtly shapes our lives and how we live every single day.

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Hard Decisions vs. Big Decisions

We often mistake hard decisions with big decisions. For instance, getting married is a big decision – but hopefully, if you’ve found a partner that you work well with and love – it should be an easy decision. Similarly, after researching, applying, and getting your dream job – leaving your current position is a big decision, but it shouldn’t be too hard.

However, hard decisions are when both alternatives are equally comparable. Getting two job offers that you think would be about the same, deciding which college to attend, trying to get an advanced degree, figuring out where to live, renting or buying a house, or anything else that shapes years of your life when you make the decision are a little harder.

Why Making Decisions is Hard

Hard choices are important because you get to make decisions about yourself and create value by committing to things. Hard decisions are often a junction where you take charge of your life. Having to make that decision forces you to take responsibility for the outcome.

1. The Decision to Launch 1,000s of Decisions

Let’s say Job A is in California and Job B is in New York. They are comparable in job titles, daily work, prestige, company culture, and benefits. What matters is the location. Knowing that your job will control where you live, what you eat, who you see, the opportunities and challenges you will have can be overwhelming.

Both seem equal – but you know it will control more beyond this one decision. It is the decision to launch 1,000s of decisions. 

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2. Putting off decisions is a form of Procrastination

People tend to choose temporary pleasure over pain now, for future benefit. This phenomenon is called Present Bias.

People procrastinate because they want temporary pleasure over hard choices. Even if making the decision will improve their life – they default to the temporary state of ignoring the decision since browsing social media is easier than deciding what their next career move should be.

Need help beating procrastination? Check out our below guides!

How to Make Hard Decisions

1. Run a Reality Test

Run test. Is one alternative better than the other? Can you make one choice better than the other via the small improvement test, then you know you are stuck at a hard choice.

Bernard Roth writes in his book, The Achievement Habit, recommends running your realities through the lens of which options offer more positives? For instance, do you love beaches and surf or big cities? Helping see the daily positives helps you decide which reality you would enjoy the most.

2. Make a Weighted Pro-con List

Make a weighted pro-con list.  Ascertain what matters between the alternatives, understand the pros and cons, tally up the pros and cons, open yourself up to the possibility of committing, realize yourself as someone to that decision and make it now true.

Running through the weighted pro-con list will help you put data and numbers behind your gut decisions.

3. Acknowledge Most People are Cautious

People admire those who are always advancing and moving on. However, most of us are content to live in the drifting status quo. We are naturally a cautious species – it was those who thought a tiger was behind every bush that ended up surviving evolutionary. Hence, why today we tend to tip toe around the imaginary tigers in our own life.

Acknowledge and accept that we are cautious by nature to protect ourselves, but in the end – we do have to make decisions.

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4. Don’t Choose because you’re “supposed to”

Studies show that people’s biggest regret in life is not taking more opportunities to live a life that is authentic to them. They regret picking the school, career, and even partner they were “supposed to choose” instead of living a life that is more authentic to them.

When facing decisions, filter out the noise and pick what helps you live your ideal and authentic life.

5. Practice Making Decisions

Nell Wulfhart, also known as the Decision Coach, advises her clients to work out the decision-making muscle by making decisions every day. Decide what to wear, what to eat, and one big decision a day like solving a work problem. By constantly making tough decisions, it becomes easier to tackle the life-changing ones.

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Key Take-Aways

  • Big decisions are not necessarily hard decisions. Hard Decisions are when two (or more) alternatives are equitable.
  • By making time, you can work through your decisions in a way that works for you.

Action item

What decision brought you to this article? Run it through some of these exercises and see how it works out for you!

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