How to Be More Optimistic

“We suffer more in imagination than in reality.”

Seneca

Learning how to be more optimistic can be a challenge. Oxford dictionary defines optimism as, “hopefulness and confidence about the future or the successful outcome of something.”

Being optimistic does not mean that the world is suddenly full of nothing but rainbows and sunshine.

“Positive thinking doesn’t mean you ignore life’s stressors. You just approach hardship more productively,” says Kimberly Hershenson a psychologist who specializes in overcoming trauma. “Being optimistic allows you to handle stressful situations better, which reduces the harmful effects of stress on your body.”

Learning how to be more optomistic is about learning a new mindset. One that handles challenges with a mind that is looking for what could go right instead of what could go wrong.

The Benefits of Optimism

Studies have shown that being optimistic brings a ton of benefits to your life.

• Increased resilience: Because the thinking is that if you keep doing what you are supposed to do – eventually the break will come, and your efforts will be rewarded. Which leads to more motivation and perseverance.
• The tendency to be more proactive when it comes to health: those who are more optimistic tend to have better diets and exercise more because they want to keep their well-being up for all of their life events.
• Better cardiovascular and, immune system: Resulting from a better diet and increased tendency to exercise.
• Higher-income: Optimistic people are more likely to pursue stretch opportunities at work, which leads to being more promotable, and then the eventual promotion that raises their salary.
• More successful relationships: Optimistic people know what to expect from relationships, and try to see the best in others – leading them to have more fruitful relationships.
• Longer-life span: Due to the increased care in physical health, wealth, and a more positive mindset.

Optimism Can Be Learned    

People have a natural inclination towards optimism or pessimism. The tendency is from genetics, upbringing, and current socio-economic background. However, despite these circumstances, optimism can be learned like any skill. Optimism can be modified by specific exercises that focus on fostering this positive mindset and developing the skills needed to start looking for more proactive actions and outcomes. 

How to Be More Optimistic           

1. Decide to be optimistic

The fact that you are reading this article is a good start! We can know all the benefits and all the strategies that are needed to start cultivating a more positive mindset, but without the decision to make it a part of your life, it will not benefit you at all.

Being more optimistic, especially when it isn’t your natural inclination, is difficult. Remember to make the decision and commit to being optimistic every day. If you fail somedays, that is okay. There is always the next day to try again. Practice self-compassion as you are learning to be more optimistic.

2. Visualize your best possible self              

Imagine your dream life in ten years. What does it look like, and how does it feel? How are you doing mentally, physically, financially, and in your career? Focus on that dream life and the positive feelings it invokes in you.

See your best possible self in a specific area such as career, family, or health and write it out. Describe this dream future in as much detail as you can. What clothes are you wearing? What are the specific functions you are doing in your work? Make the dream as concrete as possible.

To help, you can also imagine the future dream you chatting to the current you. Talk to yourself like a caring friend. What would the best version of you say to yourself right now about your current situation and the dream state? How would they advise you do to reach this dream of yours?

It might seem like wishful thinking, but dozens of studies show that imagining your ideal future can boost levels of optimism. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a doctor who specializes in happiness, says visualizing the future works because you are strengthening your optimistic muscles by “thinking about all your dreams coming true as opposed to worrying about the worst possible outcome.”

3. Argue against yourself

When you start to feel pessimistic, it is hard to get out of the feeling. Feeling pessimistic can trigger for a variety of reasons. Possibly at work, you were scolded by your boss, it can happen after an argument with a loved one, and it can result when trying to learn new skills. Thoughts like, “I’ll be fired” or “my spouse will leave me,” or “I will never get this” are common. The pessimism spiral encourages feeding this negativity by thinking and visualizing everything going wrong.

When in reality, none of this will probably happen, especially because of just one instance. Instead, Dr. Seligman (another happiness psychologist) says a proactive step to be pessimism is to recognize the negative remarks, and then argue with the comments as if they were “an external person whose mission in life is to make you miserable.”

To argue with your negative self, provide evidence to the contrary. Instead of viewing your boss as scolding you, remember how much praise you’ve gotten and seen this instance was just feedback because the boss knows you can do better. Then incorporate this feedback and continue with tackling your day. Arguing with your negative self doesn’t have to be tedious. Present evidence to the contrary of the overly negative thought, and continue.

4. Keep a Gratitude Journal          

In a journal or a specific gratitude journal, write 3-5 things that made you happy during the day. Think about what made you smile. It could be a fun conversation with your family, a successful project at work, having time to work on hobbies, or even just enjoying the pleasant weather outside.

Looking for the positive aspects of each day teaches us to be grateful for the little things in our lives, and also helps us to recognize them in our daily routine. To enhance this practice, try to savor the moment a little longer. Let yourself be present in the activity that is bringing joy to your life. Savoring means just taking an extra ten seconds to enjoy the experience. Such as lingering a little longer outside, or reflecting on how much that family member means to you.

5. Accept the negative for what it is

Being optimistic isn’t about ignoring all the bad in life and only focusing on the good. It is about being realistic with what life throws at you while still staying positive in the face of this adversity. That means expecting good outcomes and being proactive in solving problems to create this better outcome. Being pessimistic and thinking about a worst-case scenario rarely helps in generating valid solutions that lead to your desired outcome.

Recognize what you can control, manage that, and work towards creating the life you want, instead of dwelling on the negative or how things “should be.”

Main Take-Aways

• Being optimistic is a choice. Making that choice can lead to a fulfilling and joyful life
• To cultivate optimism, focus on stopping the negative thoughts when they occur by being more realistic and proactive in solving the problems when they arise
• Provide support to this practice by learning to observe life on a more balanced level. Learn to see the joy in life by being grateful while simultaneously seeing negative things for what they are, not what you project them to be in your head.

Action item

Decide to be more optimistic each day this week. Practice using positive visualization and arguing with yourself technique to stop negative emotions. Then cultivate a well-rounded view of your life by keeping a gratitude journal and accepting negative situations for what they are.